How do I talk to Mom’s doc about her dementia when she’s sitting right there?

So here’s my problem: I’m pretty sure Mom has dementia, but we aren’t acknowledging that openly. I want her to go to the doctor, but she won’t make appointments or keeps putting them off. The one time I managed to get her to go, Momma went in alone and didn’t remember a thing the doctor said. When I asked, the office staff replied that I wasn’t on the HIPAA release form. If I try to go in WITH Mom, the doctor doesn’t seem to understand that if Mom’s not mentally right, it doesn’t make sense to tell HER as much as me, because I’m the one who’s going to have to take care of her. But none of that matters if I can’t privately get the diagnosis from her doctor without upsetting her!

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