Posts Tagged ‘Family Conflict’
The 7 Deadly Sibs: toxic family relationships and dementia caregiving
Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of feedback from fellow dementia caregivers about strained family relationships that only got more toxic as the matriarch or patriarch who held the family together fell into decline and the care of parents fell to one of the siblings. One thing that seems particularly distasteful about this whole mess is that it falls into predictable patterns that I call the “Seven Deadly Sibs.” While no doubt some legitimate rationale lies behind each of these tropes, the sheer tone-deafness and astounding lack of sympathy for caregivers make them worthy of illustration.
Read MoreSibs are “dumping” Mom on me while I’m already caring for sick, disabled husband.
Help! I grew up in a family of four kids. Mom needs dementia care and doesn’t have much savings, so we sibs debated who should take care of her. Since we agreed I’d take care of her, my husband’s contracted progressive neurological disorder. I work at home, which is why they suggested I care for Mom, but I don’t have the time or resources to take that on AND care for my husband. I feel awful, like I broke a promise, but I’m also at wit’s end. I can’t do it all!
Read MoreMom keeps telling Grandma that Grandpa’s dead.
Grandma has dementia and doesn’t remember that Grandpa “Bill” died 8 years ago. In the past I’ve told Grandma that Grandpa’s “gone to the store and will be right back”, or I change the subject, but Mom keeps reminding Grandma that Grandpa’s dead, and it upsets her all over again. Mom insists that the truth is the best thing and that it’s a sin to lie. Meanwhile, Grandma keeps re-experiencing the loss. of Grandpa. Please help! I don’t know how to get through to Mom!
Read MoreMy brother broke our agreement.
My estranged brother “Tim” wants to move mom with dementia to his house in AZ, out of state and away from her friends and family in MS. We had an agreement that I’d take care of her personally if he took care of her financially. Now that he’s moving her, I can’t travel thousands of miles to uphold my end. I feel like the decision was made without me. Every time I try to discuss it with Tim, we get into an argument and it makes it even harder to do anything for Mom.
What should I do?
Read MoreSis says Mom has dementia, but I’m not so sure.
Mom’s in her 80s. Ever since Dad died two years ago, she has sat around the house doing nothing while dishes and laundry go undone and bills go unpaid. The house is also a mess. But she was like that BEFORE Dad died. HE paid the bills. My sister “Beth” says Mom has dementia. I think she’s just depressed, grieving, and lost, and Beth’s trying to order a naturally disorderly life. Our disagreement has already caused friction. DOES Mom have dementia? How can we tell for sure, and what do we do about it?
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