Posts Tagged ‘therapeutic fibs’
Should I tell Mom she has Alzheimer’s?
Dear Grassflower: My question is simple…perhaps too simple, because I have been struggling with every possible angle of it. Should I tell my mom she has Alzheimer’s? She’s in the early stages and was just diagnosed, but didn’t really understand the diagnosis and I’m not sure if or how she’ll accept it. And what if she does know? It’s not going to make things better, and it’s just one more thing she can’t control that she would just worry about. Really looking for some guidance here, thanks.
Read MoreHow do I talk to Mom’s doc about her dementia when she’s sitting right there?
So here’s my problem: I’m pretty sure Mom has dementia, but we aren’t acknowledging that openly. I want her to go to the doctor, but she won’t make appointments or keeps putting them off. The one time I managed to get her to go, Momma went in alone and didn’t remember a thing the doctor said. When I asked, the office staff replied that I wasn’t on the HIPAA release form. If I try to go in WITH Mom, the doctor doesn’t seem to understand that if Mom’s not mentally right, it doesn’t make sense to tell HER as much as me, because I’m the one who’s going to have to take care of her. But none of that matters if I can’t privately get the diagnosis from her doctor without upsetting her!
Read MoreDad knows he has dementia. What should I tell him?
My dad has early onset dementia, so apart from the usual, he’s pretty lucid. He used to be a CPA, and while he can no longer even balance his own checkbook and can’t be trusted to drive without getting lost, he knew something was “off” even before I did. I took him to a neurologist, who ran some tests and made the diagnosis. Dad was super chill about adding me to his checking account and signing papers for POA, and even told me how he wanted his care administered. It was a good call. It’s a year later, he’s slipping downhill a bit more, and everything is in place. But here’s the problem: Dad was super open with me about his dementia, and I feel like I’m betraying him when I hold back info about how bad it’s getting. What to share? What NOT to?
Read MoreMom keeps telling Grandma that Grandpa’s dead.
Grandma has dementia and doesn’t remember that Grandpa “Bill” died 8 years ago. In the past I’ve told Grandma that Grandpa’s “gone to the store and will be right back”, or I change the subject, but Mom keeps reminding Grandma that Grandpa’s dead, and it upsets her all over again. Mom insists that the truth is the best thing and that it’s a sin to lie. Meanwhile, Grandma keeps re-experiencing the loss. of Grandpa. Please help! I don’t know how to get through to Mom!
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